Dear Santa, sometimes it’s ok to say No

dogcatchristmasDear Santa,
You know who I am, and we both know that after all these years I still only leave you two cookies at Christmas, because I can’t help it, and I always eat the other two ok sometimes three… But the milk glass is always full, so if there’s any of that missing, then that’s definitely not me.  So now that I’ve gotten that off of my chest, there’s one more thing I’d like to point out…

I realize that somewhere in the world there’s someone who has been super extra good, and perhaps that is such a rarity these days that you feel compelled to make their Christmas wish come true… I would be the first one to commend you if such wish was world peace, or a winning lottery ticket, a shiny new bike or even I lifetime supply of m&m’s, however we both know that’s not the case.  As such, it is my duty not as a ninja, well perhaps also as a ninja, but more as one of your lifetime believers to tell you that this must stop.  You must draw the line when it comes to any request involving the weather, unless it is yearlong summer worldwide, otherwise you have to put your foot down and just say No!

I know it’s hard because little Billy or Sue or whatever toogoodtobetrue‘s name is has been so extra good, and that almost never happens these days.  It’s also so great that he or she would not even ask for material things but with this request, surely the thought must have crossed your mind that his or her sanity is only so so… Because let’s be honest, who in their right mind would ask for cold and snow all spring and please don’t get me started if it’s all summer too???

There is a reason we have seasons, like winter and spring and Not Springter.  This helps preserve that cheery spirit that only last so long after Christmas and New Year’s, but seems to re-blossom come spring and warmer weather.  That goodwill among neighbors who have family and friends over for lazy Sunday BBQs is in full swing come spring and summer.  The patio weather also always brings us together, surely one as fair as you can’t overlook the benefits of winter’s end on mankind? That would be so unlike you; you are Santa Claus after all, aren’t you?

I know that Peggy-Sue or little Stu will be a little disappointed when things go back to normal and spring finally takes over for old man winter, but perhaps if you explain and show them how much joy it will bring to others then they’ll agree it’s for the best.  If little Jack or Meggy-Poo is as good as you think him or her to be, then, it will all workout in the end, and if a tantrum ensues, well I believe you’ve got a list just for that too.

Santa, I won’t lie, some of us as are perhaps rather medium-bad, granted sometimes we might fib and fail here and there but we can change and try to be a little more good or at the very least only mildly-bad, but change is unlikely if we keep being punished with snow all year long…it’s cruel and unusual and so unlike you…We can change, we’ll do so much better this year, some of us will even go to the gym! So please, Santa, do the right thing and give us some spring!


Santa if you take care of this snow thing, then this year for sure you’ll get all four of your cookies…no more Mr. Christie, all Starbucks I promise!


5 thoughts on “Dear Santa, sometimes it’s ok to say No

  1. Dear medium-bad,
    All these years I’ve blamed Helper-Elf for those missing cookies. Currently in the Bahamas enjoying the rhum, uh I mean sun. Have left Helper-Elf in charge. Will follow up when I get back.

    • Dear Santa,
      My apologies to Helper-Elf, had I known I would have come clean about the cookies earlier… I hope there are no hard feelings. Elves don’t hold grudges do they? anyway, thank you for taking my request under advisement, and since you are looking into things, is there any way you could make chocolate Paleo or zero calories?

      Enjoy the rum, uh I mean sun!

      • My dear medium-bad, this might be hard to believe but there are some wishes even I cannot grant. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for zero-cal hot cocoa, ho, ho, ho!

      • Dear Santa,
        It’s too bad about the chocolate, but thanks for sending spring our way!
        I’ll make sure I leave an extra cookie for Helper-Elf this year, and before I forget I should let you know that we’ve recently switched over to coconut milk so I hope neither of you are allergic to it.

  2. Dear medium bad,
    For a minute I was worried you were leaving us soy milk, now that I can’t stomach! But coconut milk will do just fine. Enjoy the sun!

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