21 Day Challenge: Day 6

This morning I woke up and asked myself why am I doing this?  What is the purpose of this, and what do I expect to accomplish?  That early in the morning my mind really didn’t have a crystal clear answer, and my body was saying just go back to sleep it’s Saturday.  Still, as tempting as that was, there was a stronger uncomfortable feeling saying quitting would feel worst than just getting up.

Over the years I’ve started many things and never really seen them through.  There seems to be something about commitment that scares me.  Maybe that’s why I like trying things but not really sticking to them once the experience is done.  So far it’s made for an interesting and rather fun lifestyle.  I’ve traveled, I’ve tried bubble soccer, snowboarding, skiing, archery, fencing, roller coasters, parasailing and so on.  I’ve live on a mountain and off the grid and it’s really all been about seeing if I could do it.  But once it was done and checked off my list, then it was just one more level completed and on to the next new adventure in the game of life.

Still, all of these things were fun, and that’s why I don’t have any regrets about trying them out and getting them done.  But this business of getting up so early is not fun.  It’s hard, and I wonder if it’s because that’s what I keep telling myself.  I keep using this language over and over and maybe that’s all my mind is hearing.  It keeps hearing that I don’t know if I’ll make it, that it’s hard, that it’s crazy and so forth.  Not the most positive self talk for someone who is looking for a transformational outcome.

When I think of how I talk to my friends, and how I try to be encouraging and supportive, I wonder when my words to myself stopped being encouraging and supportive and why they’ve become so self-limiting.  The change in my self-talk language, and how much more I use the words “I’m exhausted”, “I can’t”, “it’s too hard”, just crept up on me.  It’s funny that it took a sleep deprived brain to realize that I need to change more than just my bedtime.

I knew from the start that this would be a challenge.  At first I thought I could complete it and just check it off my list.  But now I realize it’s more than just a challenge, it’s a journey I have to see through.  The purpose of this challenge is no longer just to have more time for a workout, but also to take control back, to change my words and maybe even my perception.

Let’s see how this all unfolds in the next few days, and what other insight skipping the 4:30AM snooze brings.

Good night world, I’ll see you on Day 7!

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10 Reasons why you should change

As a child of the 80’s I’m so lucky to have seen so much already, and look forward to owning a car that drives itself one day.  I can still remember the euphoria of getting our first NES, our first computer, my first cell phone.  I can also remember doing math in my head, and a time where I didn’t doubt the math I had just done in my head or felt compelled to double-check it on my phone’s calculator.  I remember knowing so many phone numbers by heart, and now I second guess my own phone number, because it’s easier to exchange emails.

I also remember the clarity of knowing that there was so much to do in a day and that I couldn’t wait to get up and get started.  I took a little break-in between graduating from University in a first world country and took the road less traveled and went back to where my story started.  A country recovering from years of war, civil war at that, and earthquakes that took so many more lives.  A place where violence and fear are palpable and hope is slowly dwindling in the hearts of those who’ve stayed behind to rebuild a country whose beaches, mountains and country side beauty can leave you in awe and for a moment make you forget all evils.

It was truly an education no university could ever impart on me.  It was the real world my parents worked so hard to shelter me from and there I was looking at it all, wondering what I had gotten myself into.  No one thought I could last more than I month, to be honest I doubted myself too at first, but that flicker of self-doubt just strengthened my resolve to power through it.  I decided that since I looked like everyone else there, I would just blend in and live like everyone else.  Except that I was told that this was just a very western way of thinking, a north american romantic idea.  The simple fact that I was there by choice, wanting to stay in a country where everyone and their cousin wants to leave really meant that I could never be just like everyone else.

But there really isn’t a norm in a place where the socioeconomic gaps is so abysmal between those who have and have not, and once I learnt this, I realized that I had to make my own path in spite of not  really knowing  what that meant.  It’s ironic that I would be so “foreign” and out-of-place in the very place that saw me take my first breath and where more than once I felt I would take my last.  But my heart was fearless, although perhaps it was simply the recklessness of youth.

I thought I knew everything in my twenties and of course had the brilliant idea that blending-in meant eating like locals and so in my first three months in the country I lost a little over 30 pounds, because my stomach disagreed with everything I ate.  So you can imagine the shock on my first visit home.

It was an unhealthy weight loss to say  the least and my mom was worried.  I was too, but after my short visit I got back on that plane and returned on my journey, after all I had a world to change.  When I look back at photos of that time it almost feels surreal.  I still have a pair of jeans from those days and I haven’t tried it on in years because I look at it and don’t think it would go up past my calves let alone my thighs.  But I was sorting through some things and came across it earlier today and albeit it made me regret the Dr.Pepper and KFC I had earlier it also reminded me that there was a big reason why I lived a decade of my life trying to change things so far away.

Part of it was to help others, but a big part of it was to help myself.  To find myself and prove to myself that I could look at that big brave new world and stand up to it on my own two feet.  So really it was mostly about me, and as selfish as that may seem to some, it really is the best reason to do something.  Because doing something for you, and working hard to better yourself is the best way to help others.  Even airlines know this, and that’s why they ask that in the event of an emergency you fight your instinct to be a hero and put your oxygen mask on first, before you try to put one on others including your children.  Because what help would you be to them if you couldn’t breathe and passed out?

Somewhere along the way we lose sight of so much.  We become obsessed about helping others and forget to help ourselves.  We become selfless and forget that it’s ok to be a little selfishly authentic too.  It’s ok to want some me time.  It’s ok to want to do something just for you because you have to live with you everyday, so why not love you and try to be a better happier version of you everyday?

So unlike all those posts where we’re given the top 10 reasons to change, I am given you just one.  You.  Change what makes you unhappy for You.  Don’t blame others, let go of grudges, don’t blame the system, politics, that kid in 5th grade who broke your art project, just let it go and bet on you.

They say life’s a gamble and once again I’m all in.  Signing off a little later than expected at 23:23 EST, good night world, I’ll see you on day one of 4:30 AM.

Hunger Games

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Hunger Games

Hey, so yesterday was September 21st and for those of you who marked it on your calendar, it was also the first day of our 12 week challenge a.k.a Hunger Games 😥

But no, seriously this is a great thing, this is a good thing and I/we should be excited about taking charge of what we fuel our bodies with. However, breaking-up with something we love is never easy. Especially when it’s so sweet and comforting… 😦 I miss you already Dr. Pepper!!!

As some of you know, Sundays are like my favorite day of the week. Today however, is going by so slow, and I really really want it to be Sunday 12 weeks from now, but now! Did I mention this is just day 2??? Oh boy, it’s going to be a long week. I know that it won’t be easy. I apologize in advance to those of you who know me IRL, as I will most likely be insufferable for the first few weeks. Okay fine I’m not going to lie it will probably be more like for the first 8-10 weeks, so please bare with me. Remember that I’m not myself when I’m hungry, and whatever you do, don’t feed me Snickers or past 7pm.

For those of you who are in this challenge with me, know that I feel your pain already. If you’re laughing because it’s going great so far…just wait for it…the sugar/carb withdrawal will kick in, then by all means tell me all about it. We’ll get through this, so don’t quit on me okay? I like the idea that others are in this struggle with me. Also remember that we’re doing this based on an honor system, so don’t lie to yourself. The scale, our clothes and the responses from the people we know won’t lie in 12 weeks.

Just a few things to keep in mind:

  • Contrary to what my melodramatic post title says, this 12 week challenge is not a starving game.
  • It’s a challenge to detox from all the processed/junk food we consume
  • It’s about kicking the sugar habit to the curve (well except for the guilt-free Sunday cookie or your ONE and ONLY ONE cheat meal a week)
  • It’s about making healthier choices
  • It’s about bringing balance to your diet
  • Keep in mind that ‘diet’ is not a bad word it simply refers to what you eat
  • So make what you eat count
  • If you get hungry throughout the day, then eat more fruits and vegetables
  • If you’re thirsty, then drink more water
  • If you’re bored, sad, depressed, tired, can’t sleep, then workout!
  • Plan your meals, prep your food ahead of time, this will help.
  • Get rid of the junk in your cupboards, fridge, freezer, desk drawer or wherever else you stash what you’re not supposed to be eating.
  • Don’t buy junk food, if it’s not there, then you won’t eat it.
  • Tell your peeps about your challenge, you’ll be surprised how supportive people can be.
  • Don’t get mad at them when they call you out as you reach for that cookie you’re not supposed to have. Say thank you. Take a few deep breaths and repeat to yourself…I’ve got this, I’ve got this, I’ve got this!!!
  • If you feel like ranting, feel free to share on this blog. Be warned that I will, especially on days when people eat forbidden deliciousness near me 😕
  • Believe in yourself!
  • Don’t quit! Because it’s like RubySlippers says: “You’ve got this”!!!
  • And the results you ask? Well, it’s like Barney says if we don’t cheat and stick with it the results will be…wait for it…..LEGENDARY!

Journey

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Journey

As some of you know my internal alarm clock makes it difficult for me to sleep past the 5am mark. This morning as I wrestled and attempted to continue with my “fake sleep” I kept thinking about Diana Nyad’s incredible feat.

I kept thinking, forget Ben Affleck trying to be Batman, here is a woman who has accomplished something superhuman. Here is someone who trained hard, visualized, and made her life long dream come true. If anyone is a superhero deserving of an action figure it’s her.

As she reached the other shore she embodied and cheered Robin Roberts’ motto which is “Never Ever Give Up!” And I think that’s an important message.

We live in such a chaotic world and there’s so much going on around us that it’s easy to lose sight of what is important to us. Sometimes we give up too easily, we let numbers like age and the balance of our bank account limit us. But truth be told, Diana is also right when she says that we need to stop quitting so soon.  She shares her new mantra which is “Find A Way”. Because as she says, if it’s important to you and if you really want it, then you will find a way.

So think about what you want out of life. Think about what you want to change in your life to make it better. Ask yourself how bad you really want it, and if you’ve got what it takes to make it happen. If you’re unsure of the answer then let me help you. The answer is YES YOU DO!

Others might doubt or mock you, but who cares! If you believe in yourself then stay the course. Don’t quit, Ever! Remember that impossible just means it’ll take a lot more work and a little more time but you’ll get there.

So follow your dreams, stay the course, enjoy the journey and whether it takes you one, five or one-hundred attempts, know in your heart that you will make it to the other shore!

P.S.

Also if you’re making excuses for yourself like I was earlier today to skip out on my workout, please don’t!  Instead look for ways to debunk and crush those excuses.  Today I had 3 motivating factors:

  1. If a 64 year old woman can swim 110 miles then I can walk myself to the gym and workout.
  2. My friend KB stepping it up each day, making her step quota, and encouraging me to stay the course.
  3. My mom deciding to get back on track and as RubySlippers would say “work on fitness”

“Selfishly Authentic”

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Life gets busy and at times a little overwhelming. So make an appointment with yourself, set some time aside each day just for you. Take a walk, workout or just find a spot to remind yourself to breathe. To borrow my friend’s term, be “selfishly authentic”…

This might mean getting up earlier than everyone else or skipping t.v. time before bed, but working on you is more important that all those other things so don’t skip your me-time. It’s o.k. to take some time for yourself. So don’t feel guilty about it. At the end of the day everyone will benefit from that time you spend working on you.

As for me, well I’m dealing with some delayed onset muscle soreness from a leg day workout but still really looking forward to my friend AG’s engagement party tonight! Hopefully by then I will no longer be walking around like a new born baby giraffe *LOL*

So today choose to be happy, to be kind & do good!

I hope you all have an awesome day & week-end & Thanks again for stopping by my blog, sharing on social media & for all the follows!