21 Day Challenge: Day 9

In one of my recent posts I mentioned the power of language and self-talk.  I’ve been paying closer attention to what I say to myself in these last few days.  One thing I have noticed is that when it comes to my work which I love, I always tell myself I “MUST” or I “WILL” do this or that when I’m going through my tasks for the day.  I don’t use “maybe” or “might” but when it comes to working out or making other choices in my life I do use “maybe”, “might”, “tomorrow” and other words that make it easy to create excuses.

This evening I took and accidental nap.  I changed into my workout clothes to go for a walk, and instead of heading out right away I thought I would lie down for a moment, which I did, except that that moment turned into a two hour nap.  By the time I woke up I really didn’t feel like working out.  I honestly just felt like changing into my pjs and calling it a day.  But, then I remembered I would have to blog about it and decided I had to get it done.

So, I jumped out of bed and threw my running shoes on.  I made a choice and made getting some steps in a MUST rather than a MAYBE or a TOMORROW.  The funny thing about saying tomorrow is that that’s what I’ve been telling myself for months and it just never happened.  It’s too bad it have taken these rude 4:30 am wake-ups to get some clarity back.  The good news is that it’s getting better.

At then end of the day, it really is about choice.  There are some things in our lives we cannot control, but for those things we can control, it’s about being strong enough to make the right choice for ourselves.   Sometimes we’re lucky and have a RubbySlippers in our lives to push us beyond our comfort zone, and other times we have to be our own RubbySlippers and believe that we’ve got this!

So for those of you who are following along and maybe even doing this challenge with me, remember that your 4:30 AM may be a little different.  Maybe you work nights or evenings, maybe you have kids or loved ones you take care of, maybe there’s school and life going one.  But you always have the power to chose getting up 15 minutes before your usual wake-up time and progressively turn it into an hour of you time.  What you do with this time is up to you, but it will certainly get rid of the “I don’t have time excuse” and allow you to reclaim some ME-Time.

Well, that’s all for this Cookiefiend today.  Signing off at 11,028 steps for the day.  Good night world!



21 Day Challenge : Day 3

Ok, so it’s day 3 and I’m exhausted.  It’s not even 10 PM and I am fighting to keep my eyes open.  I also may have fallen asleep while watching The Lego Movie, and that never happens!  Is this my body adjusting to the shock or going into shock?  I am not going to lie, the thought of 18 more days of this is daunting, but I’ve already invested 3 days and I can’t stop now, can I?

After all, nothing changes if nothing change.  And I need change in my life right now.  I also need a few new pants and a new pair of shoes, but shopping is not something I enjoy.  I dislike trying stuff on and not being sure whether or not I should by it.  Also, finding a sales rep honest enough to tell it like it is isn’t always easy these days, because everyone is so sensitive.  Still when I look at something and think it’s a NO for me, and a sales person starts saying how amazing it looks, I usually lose interest.

I remember once going into a store and trying a few things on.  They had the mirror outside the small dressing room and my sales person kept saying everything I tried on was amazing.  She was very nice and had said the same thing to her previous customer who made a large purchase.  As I came out wearing the last outfit and ready to leave empty handed again, he co-worker stopped by and had a nice tailored pant suit in one hand and three blouses in the other and he said he had noticed I wasn’t convinced by everything I had tried on so far, but thought this might work.

I remember coming out and liking the suit but not the blouse and before I could say anything he said, no, and came back with a different color blouse.  I remember thinking that day of how great it would be to have a personal shopper or designer.  Shopping was so much easier that way.  I made a large purchase that day, and even wore that suit to an interview.  I’ve been back to that store a few times, but that sale rep has moved to the big city, and I’m sure is helping more people like me look like responsible adults.

Still, I’ve been putting this off for a while because I dread it and don’t look forward to finding out what my new comfortable pant size is 😦  But I have two choices.  One, start working out or two keep buying bigger pants.  So, workout it is.

Today’s mini workout:

  • 10 push-ups (from the knees)
  • 10 sit-ups
  • 10 squats
  • 10 stationary lunges (5 each side, I still have to be able to walk tomorrow)
  • 10 Spiderman crawls (my attempt at them, who knew that was so hard)

Well, so far Day 3 includes a mini-workout which means it’s better than yesterday.  I’ll take it as an improvement.

Whatever you are doing in your life, do one thing no matter how small to make today better than yesterday.

That’s all from this Cookiefiend today.  Signing off at 22:05h.  Good night world, I’ll see you on day 4!

21 Day Challenge

If I had to describe my first 4:30 AM day in one word, I think it would have to be “rough”.  It may have something to do with my bedtime last night, so I am going to try to get to bed earlier today.  I’m not going to lie, I’ve been yawning for the last 3 hours and feel so drained.  I wasn’t very productive this morning, I just sat there contemplating why I was trying this and thinking that perhaps it is sheer madness.

Although it did give me time to think about my day, most of my focus was on staying awake.  So today I am going to try going to bed a little earlier to see if it pays off in the morning.  It would be nice to finally have a set workout time again, and perhaps those 3 hours I would gain in theory would allow me to get things I don’t particularly enjoy like working-out, out of the way first thing in the morning and leave time for other fun stuff later in the day.

I have an early party to go to tomorrow, it’s funny the older you get the earlier parties seem to get.  Then again they’ve also gone from plain ol’parties, to Tupperware parties, work parties, Enjo parties en so on.  Still it’s always nice to have a break in the day where you can just relax and enjoy the company of your friends and colleagues outside the workplace.  Also, Tupperware parties have come a long way since I remember attending one with my mom a million years ago.  Now they’re cooking demos, of 4 minute brownies, buffalo chicken dip, guacamole and many other delicious treats, no wonder people go to them.  And of course there is the nostalgia of flipping through the catalog and seeing so many things my parents still have in their kitchen.

Well, that’s all for today. it’s 21:50 h and time for sleep.  Until Day 2!

Captain’s Log Stardate 0127.15

Happy New Year imacookiefiend followers, it’s been a while.  I promised myself when I first started this blog that I would be honest with myself.  That isn’t always easy, but here goes.  I have been on a bit of a downward spiral for the last few months with regards to my health trek, and now it’s time for me to admit that I need to get back to it.

Re-starting is never easy, but I have reached a point where I feel uncomfortable in my own clothes which means that I can either start buying bigger size clothes or get back to working out.  Although I know what I need to do (ie. workout) I feel as if I’m venturing into new uncharted territories…to be honest I’m dreading it.

As some of you might know last year I ran my first 5K, which surprised everyone including myself since I do not run.  Now with the weight that has slowly creeped up on me, I can’t quite run more than a few minutes, which is a little sad.  So I have decided to give running another shot or at least go through the Couch to 5K training program once more.

After a short run today, I can tell you that it’s not going to be fun.  Still road races will begin in April, and since nothing changes if nothing changes, then I need to change if I want to get back to a healthy weight.

I am cautiously optimistic about my  journey towards a new goal, and hope that if you’re struggling to stay healthy or have strayed from it you’ll also find it in yourself to get back to the grind 🙂




As those of you who have been following my blog for sometime know, my friend A.G is getting married this summer. As such everyone is in workout mode. Although, we’ve both been working on fitness and keeping the weight we’ve lost off, it still is a struggle.

A.G’s motivation is a little more powerful than mine, as she has a dress to fit into…Still, the thought of me in a bathing suit should also motivate me to NOT skip workouts, and yet it doesn’t quite do the trick. This cold Canadian weather, ideal for warm sweatpants and big fluffy sweater can easily make you lose your focus and fall back into complacency…

So to avoid spiraling down the path I was on before, I’ve really had to dig very deep for motivation.  You know it’s bad when you start making excuses to miss your favorite Zumba class.  Still, there was one thing that had kept me coming to class and that is trying to learn a little dance AG wants us to do at her wedding.  Of course knowing that it takes me at the very least 7 months of prep time, I’ve had to keep going to Zumba.  Still, I have to say my progress was not looking promising at all.

I was however hopeful that once I pulled off AG’s belated Christmas surprise, things would improve.  Since AG reads my blog I hadn’t really been able to write about our secret plan to surprise her with a private Zumba lesson from our amazing instructor.  The plan was to have some of her closest friends get together and practice the song she wants us to perform at her wedding.  I’m happy to say that after months of schedule conflicts and cancellations we managed to pull it off.

Our turnout was not as expected but it was actually just the right size 🙂  AG’s face was priceless as she saw our Zumba instructor in the lobby of her building.  Total #fangirl moment.  It took her a few moments to figure out what was going on, but from then on she couldn’t really hide her excitement (and I have pictures and video footage to prove it).  I honestly couldn’t stop laughing when I started sending her the pics and video, because through most of her still shots she’s got the hugest smile!

In her own words, she was star struck, and I believe her.  You see AG loves taking selfies and for her to shy away from her phone, well it takes a lot.  In all honestly her crush level was comparable to that of a fan girl meeting Zac Effron, except she was trying to contain it and not appear too creepy, but the smile said it all lol!  We had a pretty great time, discovered that our Zumba instructors call our group their Zumbies, and also confirmed without a doubt that AG’s is without a doubt a solid Jenna Marble level 1 girl crush 🙂

So as I struggle through these next few weeks battling my eating habits, and crushing my excuses not to go to the gym, I’ll hold on to the fun times of Zumba, AG’s surprise, RubySlippers’ advice and remind myself why I’m doing what I do.  Motivation you see is the biggest part of it all and you have to make sure that no matter what anyone says you personally convince yourself that you are worth it!  That you are important and that you deserve to work on yourself, to improve and to train hard everyday to be the person you dream of being.

The truth is, it won’t be easy.  It won’t happen overnight.  There will be struggles, you will lose some battles, but if you stay the course, get back up, and keep at it, you will win the war against your fears, and that little voice in your head saying I Can’t.  If you ever feel like giving in or giving up, please don’t, just keep going because it really is like RubySlippers says: “You’ve got this!”

The RubySlippers Push


The RubySlippers Push

I meant to type up a few blog posts last week, but my arms hurt so much that I just couldn’t get it done. Although I’ve blogged about my sessions with RubySlippers in the past, somehow I did not remember nor expect it to be so painful.

The problem with going back to training with someone who has trained you before is that they know exactly what you’re capable of. So when she goes around the group asking people if the weight on their bar is ok for them, and offering to take some weight off if it’s too heavy…that offer somehow never makes it’s way to me.

Usually I get offered more weight on my bar ;( So unfair! Like she says, this is what happens when one slack off and does Zumba instead of weight training. I don’t particularly like group training because sometimes I find it takes a while to get things started and then it just seems to be never ending. Scheduling is also a pain! Getting 8 people to agree on a time and day that works for everyone is a challenge in it of itself. Made even more painful by the fact that Rubyslippers is trying to get 8 girls to agree. It’s like a “Mean Girls”(as in the movie) microcosm.

It’s not all bad though. Once things get started and I start dying, I forget I’m in a group. Pain makes me focus on me only. It’s like everyone else disappears and all I can feel is the ache in my body and sweat dripping down my face. Off course there’s the ever encouraging RubySlippers comments like “Is that even a real push-up?” or “what is that?”, “You call that a squat?”, “seriously?”, “friends?”, and of course “we’re gonna have so much fun, it’ll be good”…but it’s all lies! Lies I tell you! Because although I know it’s good for me, it’s not fun, and it hurts 😦

I only wish that wave of pain made an appearance each time I reached for something I shouldn’t be eating. That might be helpful, but it never happens because memory it seems is selective. To help me be accountable, RubySlippers has given me homework. I am to write down everything I eat. Not fun at all. But it might work, because I think twice about eating something, especially if it’s something like Popeyes Chicken which will undoubtedly earn me extra burpees if she sees it on my food log.

But enough about me and food. Let’s move on to the 1 Minute RubySlippers Special of the week:
1 Minute each, as many reps as you can for time
– Jump Squats
– Push Press
– Thrusters
– Push-ups
– Sit-ups
– Burpees (why? Why? WHY????)

So the first 6 minutes were a shock to my system. I could hear in the distance people saying they might puke, pass-out, wipe-out etc…then it all just became a jumble of incoherent words. My body was crying out, my lungs were on fire, my arms and legs shaking…and my mind was trying to keep it together. Repeating one thing over and over: “You’ve got this!”.

At the end we compared results, and although I’m not super competitive, and definitely not the fittest looking person in our group, it was a nice feeling knowing that I had powered through the most burpees in 1 minute. Truth be told, it made this group thing slightly more interesting. I will be the first one to tell you to compete against yourself and not worry about how much others around you are doing.  However if some of these girls are responsible for me being stuck with a 7pm group workout time on a Friday night, then I have only one thing to say…sheldonitson




New Year’s Resolutions, those crazy little words that people write down and say every January. New Year’s Resolutions are a great thing, but only if keep them. Since I know myself well enough to know I rarely keep my own New Year’s resolution, I resolved quite some time ago not to make any. Why put that kind of pressure on myself, only to give self-loathing another excuse to visit me come February?

The problem with all those spontaneous resolutions made while we are pumped up on holiday cheer and all its sugary carb-loaded deliciousness, is that we don’t think them through. We make them and expect them to happen overnight in the same way children expect Santa to go around the world in one night delivering presents. When the reality is that unless you have Santa’s magic, a lot of the things you want won’t happen unless you’re willing to put time and a lot of work into them. A LOT of work!

The other thing to keep in mind is the enthusiasm with which you jump into these short lived resolutions. Enthusiasm like motivation wears off, it has to be renewed constantly, so be prepared to do so. As the honeymoon stage of your resolutions wears off, you have to remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing. If you can’t remember the why, or if it’s not an important and compelling why, then maybe it’s time to reconsider and find a truly meaningful reason to do what you do.  Because as Diana Nyad once said if it`s important to you…“you`ll find a way“.  Otherwise you`ll be like all those people who were not at the deserted gym on Friday…yes already 2 weeks into the 2014 game and the crowds have thinned out.  I`m not complaining about all the space, but it`s a little sad to know that already people are paying and not using their memberships, and most will continue that way for the remaining 11 months of their contract.  So please, don`t be that girl/guy who only lasted 2 weeks at the gym.

This 2014, join me in not writing down and constantly obsessing over new year`s resolutions.  Instead let`s pledge to actually keep moving and taking action in our lives.  Let`s be a little less talk and a lot more action!  Don`t join things because they are trendy, try them out first.  Then, if you do join and start something, stick to it!

Keep your chin up and your goals in mind, then work hard for them.  Do you dream about having a beach body?  Then eat healthy and train hard for those abs and buns of steel!  Because Dreams are great, they are projections of what your heart wants.  But to make dreams come true you need more than just heart, you HAVE TO DO the work!

I`ve been kinda stuck in this pattern where I do my thing M-F like it`s a 9 to 5 thing, and then on the weekend I just do what I want and it most certainly does not include working out.  Today as I type away, I realize how crazy that mentality is and how easy it is to fall into it so comfortably.  The reality is that life is a 24/7 gig and so should your work.  When I say work I don`t mean what you do for a living, that`s just your bread and butter.  When I say work, I mean real work.  Work is everything else you do to be better and improve the substance that is You.  For some it`s getting back on track with life, for others it`s finding what that track is.  It really is different for everyone.

For me it`s shaping my life and breathing meaning back into it.  As RubySlippers says:  “we all have a story“…and we do.  Mine is a bit of an on-going sitcom, but I`m not going to bore you with it (although you would probably pee your pants laughing at some parts of it), instead I am going to ask you to think about your own story.  Think not about the past, but about right now and what you would like to change moving forward.  Think about the here and now parts that are making you feel the way you do.  Then take the first step and decide to change!  Once you make that heart felt choice out of your own free-will, then and only then will you “find a way“.  If love for others can make you do crazy and heroic things, just imagine what true love of self can do for your life…

So rekindle your love for yourself, and if you don`t like who you are then re-invent yourself!  Get back into the driver seat of your life, and take it somewhere!  Remember that nothing changes if nothing changes, so let`s change!  It`s like RubySlippers says:“You`ve got this!“

As for me, I`m off to get re-acquainted with long lost push-ups…and working on shedding one pound at a time.  I am still a work in progress, and as slow as that process may seem, I remind myself that each inch of progress brings me closer to my ultimate goal of a lifetime of guilt-free cookies on Sundays 🙂